And here's yet another post after a long long hiatus from blogger =[ I really should just be honest with myself and make this like a monthly thing since every time I find the time and motivation to start up again it really never lasts very long. I don't even remember what my last post was on here since I couldn't be bothered looking back cuz the internet is so damn slow today thanks to Kat downloading Diablo 3 (since she got access to the beta) and its taking forever to load stuff. So I'm just going to say what's been happening in recent times.
I guess the biggest thing is that I'm done with uni for the year. Heh, the very appearance of this post probably explained that already. 4th year was pretty heavy. The workload does fluctuate throughout the year though, but the amount of hours spent doing uni-related stuff this year far exceeds that of previous years by miles. You pretty much have 40 hour weeks during the busier runs and on top of that you have your study, assignments, presentations, OSCEs and all that jazz. Then you have exams. It was such an intense year that suddenly having all this free time now feels surreal. I remember how anhedonic I became during those last few days before the final exam. I got to the stage where I just didn't care any more. Pass, borderline pass, fail...didn't seem to matter anymore. I just wanted it to end. I felt like I wasn't able to enjoy anything. Even after the exam, the feeling still lingered. I can't remember the last time I felt so low. Depressing, I know. But those feelings were real.
Its interesting what stress does to you. I mean, I really don't want to fail this year. It would be terrible, having all the blood, sweat and tears be shed in vain; the outcome would be the same as if you simply hadn't tried at all, or went on a vacation or something. Having to go through that shit again would be so damn annoying. I suppose it would be easier the second time around but its still a lot of hours. Not to mention the social stigma of being held back. I don't usually care about that sort of stuff, but its one thing I could certainly do without. I'm just hoping I did well enough to pass. Exam B was hard. So many obscure and specific questions. It's still difficult for me to relax until I see that green light. I know I can't do anything about it so I'm trying to distract myself with games and hobbies in the meantime. Oh man, I fucking don't want to fail.
On a lighter note, vacation time means I get to spend more time with mikorikawa! <3 YAY. It's so great being to hang out with her without the ominous awareness of the amount of study that's lurking in the background needing to be done. I only have 3 weeks in Auckland before I head off to Canada so I really want to make the most of it. Sometimes I feel guilty for not having as much time for her as I should, and sometimes I wish we could have met under different circumstances. Ah well, some things can't be helped. Just means that every moment with her is that more precious. Here are some photos ^^
Hanging at the domain on a sunny day
The Sushi Room: Before
The Sushi Room: After
Armageddon! =D
Snow Ice~*
Ah, I feel so lucky to have such an awesome girlfriend.
So today I spent the morning trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with my DVD writer. Turns out that those Sandy Bridge motherboards made by Gigabyte have faulty SATA2 ports. It took me forever to figure that out, it was so annoying. At first I thought it was the writer itself that was malfunctioning but then I realised I'd recently installed a new 2TB internal HDD and shifted the DVD drive cable to a different port. So that means I have to drop my computer in to get repaired...zZz...why do I have such bad luck with computer parts :S I think that's the 3rd part that's failed on me so far.
Tried to draw a bit today too. Key word being -tried-. Sometimes I wish I took up more constructive hobbies during my youth instead of just playing games and reading books. I guess I did learn piano. Although that skill is pretty much gone through years of neglect. Just seeing what others can do inspires me sometimes. Although often I never put in enough work or practice to ever get to the level of the people I get inspired by, heh. Guess its my general lack of motivation holding me back again. Perhaps I need to find out ways to motivate myself, so maybe I'll actually get somewhere in life. Meh, sometimes I just like being indifferent. I don't get excited or amused very easily. I know I probably come across as a boring, uninteresting person to most people. And I can live with that. I don't mind being alone too much anyway, it can be peaceful.
For those of you in the tl;dr camp: There isn't much interesting content in this post. Your life won't be any better from reading this so go back to living your life. No offense taken.
