lunar.soliloquy

Doing med certainly makes you grow up very quickly, even if you don't want to. Especially once you get to 4th year and beyond. You're forced to go out into foreign parts of the country on your own and arrange everything for yourself on top of all the study you're meant to keep up with. Don't have a car? Don't have a licence? Too bad. You're supposed to have those by now. Never left your parental home? Well now is the time to. I guess by the age of 21 most people would be able to do those things. And it turns out a lot of people do enjoy that aspect of getting out there and doing things. But unfortunately I'm not like most people. I do like sticking to what's familiar if I can help it.

I guess I've come to accept that I can no longer keep up with those time-consuming hobbies I used to enjoy so much. Watching anime and tv series, reading manga, playing games, MTG drafting ... I guess those things don't get you anywhere in the long run. Although I probably could do some of those things if I made time. I'd just have to make sure I didn't get carried away with doing those activities. Which is easy to do. Especially anime. I haven't even had time to blog recently but that's something I don't want to give up. It's really good to look back and reflect on things that have happened and the thoughts you had at the time. Before I used to blog to get stuff out of my head but that was back when I had too much time on my hands and thought about stuff more than I should have been. Nevertheless, I want to keep this blog going, whatever the reason. I just like it.

Anyhow I should probably get on with doing some things tonight. Even though its a Friday night and I don't usually get much done on days like this I should probably make an effort.

My last few posts have been moderately suggestive of activity in my life that could not be disclosed due to the nature of this blog (ie. public). And what can I say, the 13th of June marks the day that I started dating mikorikawa ^^. I can't go into much detail about what's been going on these past 2 months but I can say that this has certainly been a new experience for me. Having a girlfriend has definitely opened my eyes to some of the flaws in my personality, heh. I'm still getting used to having someone; sometimes I do go about things as if I was single since it's just simply what I've been doing for so long. I've found I had to learn to re-evaluate previously familiar situations with this new context, otherwise I might end up being misinterpreted >< Such is the nature of this world, people do like to jump to conclusions rather quickly about such issues I find. Anyhow, it's a learning experience for me and I'm definitely going to do my best to make the most of it.

My mid-year break was largely spent studying and hanging out with mikorikawa and was possibly one of the most enjoyable 2 weeks of the year. 2 weeks of freedom, good company and moderate productivity; I can't recall the last time I felt so comfortable with my life and it goes without saying those two weeks went by very quickly. You might remember my post "My Type of Girl" from a while back, I honestly didn't think I'd find someone like her and I was quite prepared to enjoy single-dom for many, many more years. It's not that I didn't have confidence in myself as a person, but it was that my expectations were pretty damn specific. There really aren't many people who can understand me as a person and I've long accepted that reality. I just feel lucky to have mikorikawa since it's nice to be able to share your thoughts with someone who really understands and accepts you.

Uni's been pretty steady over the past few months although it has been hard for both of us since I've been down in Rotorua for most of the time doing Orthopaedics and now Medicine. Ortho was quite a relaxed and enjoyable run; it came to a surprise that that's the only ortho teaching we'll have in med school. I could do without the extra rheumatology, though, heh. Totally failed that station at the OSCE. Medicine has been really interesting and quite intellectually stimulating, although there's a hell of a lot to know and sometimes ward rounds go on for 6 hours! Lots to see and do, I'm already looking forward to doing medical runs as a House Officer xD you're always kept busy and there never seems to be a dull moment. I've grown to quite like Rotorua Hospital too, the close-knit and friendly environment really has grown on me. Pity that the city lifestyle has already gotten a fairly firm grip on me, I can't imagine myself working and living in a town like Rotorua in the long term. I can understand why so many people want to live in Auckland. There are just so many more opportunities. Even though I know as a medical practitioner you have the freedom to train anywhere in the country I don't think I could give up Auckland that easily. I find when you live in a town like Rotorua your social connections are far too restricted and you can't meet people who can really relate to you, simply because there are too few of those people there. Being different from most people I find this affects people like me a lot. So what if I don't want to join you drinking on Friday night. I'm not going to change myself just because the majority of the country places value in getting drunk and having a wild social life. Not that I mind being alone, I'd just rather not be if I had the choice.

I don't know how this rambling started, I guess I'm just trying to justify myself staying in Auckland since my parents keep nagging me to stay and live in Rotorua after I graduate. I really don't know where I'm going to end up in 3 years time but I do have a feeling I want to be in Auckland. Auckland has become my home. Going back "home" to Rotorua feels like leaving, and coming back to Auckland feels like coming back for real. Guess such feelings can't be helped when you're attached to a place you call your home.

Anyway I should be sleeping now, just finished skyping the dear one and gotta make it to the 8am ward round tomorrow.